I have concluded that I need to be a part-time police officer.
Why?
So I can drive a police car and pull random people over and write tickets…
Mainly though? So I can have a badge.
When I get pulled over, I can show this badge and get out of it. How good would that be? It’d be good.

…or I need to find a girl whose father is a cop. Then ask her out. And maybe I’d get a badge that said “Officer’s Daughter’s Boyfriend”.. since that is least likely, I’ll go be a cop instead. Maybe I’d get a police dog. They are oh so cute.